You know you're an audiophile if--

You buy an album and clean, then play, the sides in numerical order.

Your are at a hot strip club with the boys and they are drunk, rowdy and ogling.
Meanwhile you sit back and close your eyes simply enjoying the music. Later you
remark
- I think that was the original version of "The Stripper" recorded by David Rose
& his Orchestra in 1958.

Shadorne: Keep these responses. They are worth gold to the right entertainer.

you use an anti-static toothbrush with sorbothane pads

your wife is 2 feet taller than you (ensures correct tweeter alignment for proper stereo imaging at all times)