Bi-wiring mishap

So all right, all ive been hearing about lately is bi-wiring, bi-wiring so I thought I’d give it a try. Not knowing what the heck bi-wiring is but being the wordsmith that I am I knew that bi means two in the queens latin (just like dos equis means two horses) and so I figured, connect TWO wires. Simple enough. Well, I wasn’t getting any results at first so I asked my g/f to listen for any differences the bi-wiring might be making. Nothing, however was coming out of my speakers no matter how high I turned up the volume knob.

So I asked her to listen closely to hear if she could detect any signs of life. As she pressed her ear against the woofer I bi-wired; I took the speaker wire with the red thing and the speaker wire with the black thing and touched them together. Well…. First let me say this: my girlfriend is OK. She’s fine, despite what she says. Two specialists have now confirmed what I had suspected all along: any damage to her hearing was minimal at worst.

Furthermore, although I admit that I have never used the word ‘Jeepers’ (not out loud anyway) I will swear to the day I die that this was not in any way meant to be sarcastic. What would you say after experiencing such a thunderous clap, and peeking around you speaker to find your girlfriend, who was not two seconds prior only millimeters away from the speaker, across the entire length of the room with feet peering over the upturned couch like two periscopes? ‘Jeepers’ is not entirely out of line. Furthermore, I wonder how she could have heard this if her hearing was really as damaged as she claims?! I did not, as she says, scream it. Also, I defend myself that I did not snicker as I lifted the sofa off of her body. What is funny about a blown woofer? I’m sure, when I noticed her chest beginning to heave up and down again that I may have smiled from happiness that she was alive, but snicker? Those were very expensive speakers.

The upshot is this: can someone tell me if I did something incorrect or if this was some problem with the system? I plan to bi-wire again soon. If anyone is in the LA area and would like to lend an ear, please let me know. (oh yeah, some of you may have read my post about the remote for the turntable I was seeking and wondering if this is the same girlfriend and yes, she is one in the same – the screamer. Again, my annoyance over her screaming at my turntable set up in no way inspired me to snicker at the very scary incident described above nor was it the very reason that I bi-wired in the first place. revenge is not worth avantguardes. i keep telling her this.)