best wife friendly monitor?

The dark red cherry 805's should fit your decor, & are very WAF accepted.

The Von Schweikert VR4 Jr's that I didn't sell, are very appealing to my wife. When set up properly - they sound excellent too! :-)
pt

I would look into Sonus Faber (many models depending on your budget). To my eye they are some of the most attractive looking monitors made, and are of course world class speakers. Their use of Walnut in many of their models may also allow them to fit into your antiques nicely.

Tyler Acoustics has like 25 different types of wood to choose from. Let the wife pick the wood as this could do your audio hobbie some good! Happy Holidays

You never mentioned how much you're wanting or willing to spend.

The Caravelles are fantastic and go for around $5000.00. They have the piano gloss black finish that should wow your wife.

On the cheaper note, I have the old B&W Silver Signatures which were $8000.00 new that I would love to replace, but honestly haven't found anything that has made me want to take the hit selling them. There are three pair on Audiogon right now for around $3000.00-$4000.00. They are the granddaddy to the 805's. I've heard that neither the Nautilus nor the Signature 805's can touch them. They go down to around 35Hz and they do rock! They're also very nice looking.

The Reference 3A DiCapo's are really nice too, and only $2500.00. The one's with the piano gloss black finish at $2750.00 should wow your wife, the same as the Caravelle's.