Technically subwoofers don't need to be fast as the frequencies they do are relatively slow. As far as the mass argument, it's more the ability to stop than go. Rythmik uses a servo system that allows the driver to be a bit lighter but, usually, heavier means more extension and larger means more for less excursion, where too much leads to distortion.
A sealed sub will have a fraction the group delay of a ported or PR sub but sacrifice deep bass with an earlier, shallower rolloff. Not usually a big concern for music and subs 12" and over, considering room gain. For the HT bass fanatics, it's another story.
Have you considered an active crossover, one that has a high pass for the main speakers? Maybe something like a Paradigm X30, Reckhorn S-1 or miniDSP. Maybe even a Harrison labs FMOD inline passive. How about a DSPeaker Antimode?