I first read this thread with deep sorrow a couple nights ago. But at that time, I was unable to reply. However, I have had many thoughts about you and your situation. My condolences to you!!
Chayro, the loss of one so dear as a spounse, is devistating beyond words!! I do hope however, that along with the help of friends, family and your other endeavors -- that you, as I oftentime have -- may find some peace and solace in the music that we all so love. Take care....