In all honesty Tubegroover, I have owned and still own 3 tube pre's. The first was a PV-10 in the mid 80's. My next pre was an Audible Illusions in 92. We moved in 99 and I failed to take the tubes out of the pre's; that's a "no no", movers and tubes do not mix, the tubes had to be replaced.
A few years ago I bought a PV-12 on the Gon with NOS tubes already in it, and I love it. All of my pre's have NOS tubes and they sound fine. The last time I bought tubes was over 10 years ago, all NOS from Brent Jesse.
When I got into the "high end", there were quite a few emporiums and you could audition most of the equipment you read about in "Stereophile". I spent so much time in those places, that when I got home late one evening, my wife asked me "What's her name?". There is never a good answer to that question. While the places I went to had Adcom, Rotel and a few other SS names, their most expensive and best was tube CJ and ARC. When your ears witness what happens when you replace CJ or ARC with Adcom or Rotel, they will never forget the effervescent sound of tubes. I have never had any of the hassles you mentioned with tubes. Have you experienced this or is it a perception?
As a music lover, life is too short to deprive yourself of a music lovers greatest pleasure, "an eargasm!" There are SS lovers who get "eargasms", but it's because they like a different type of sound and music, that's why we have the both of them.