Dear Listener57, I think you got it mostly right but you might consider some "stealth" wording changes to truly reflect reality and some semblance of respecting the immutable laws of physics:
1) "Even though it makes no conventional sense, check out the Brilliant Pebbles for room corners"
Just change "no conventional sense" to "no sense whatsoever" and you're spot-on. And, just to demonstrate my giving nature, I'm gonna give you a free tweak just for being an Audiogon member. You can easily match the efficacy of the Brilliant Pebbles by simply tying a reef knot in the pull cord of your favorite reading lamp. No kidding, it's true!
2) the Clever Little Clocks for in-home placement (even though neither of mine actually tells the correct time)
I think that's a misspelling, it's actually "Clever Little Crock Pots". Put your ingredients in before you leave for work, let it simmer all day, and you'll have a tasty and nutritious meal when you get home that evening. The fact that a $199 digital crock pot cannot even provide the correct time clearly indicates that it is defective. I'd ask Geoff for a replacement. He's a good guy, he'll gladly replace your defective Crock Pot if you ask him nicely.
The fact that it does nothing to improve the sound of your system is not the issue here. At that price, the least it could do is provide the correct time of day.
3) Tru-Tone duplex covers. The exact same covers can be purchased from Home Depot for about $5 each, no need to spend $30 for these. I suggest you take the $25 you just saved and give it to a worthy charity. Please contact me offlist and I'll provide you with my PayPal account info. I assure you that I'm worthy of your charity!
4)"the single greatest tweak for the money: Teleportation."
While this one is at least "reasonably" priced in comparison to the Brilliant Pebbles, there is no need for you to spend even $60 for Teleportation. Simply send $25 to my PayPal account and I'll call you up, beat on a pie pan with a dinner fork for 30 seconds, and then finish up with a hearty "Thanks a lot and Happy Hanukkah (or Merry Christmas, your choice)!" before I ring off.
This is a *true* value my friend, and the perfect gift for your non-discerning audiophile friends. In the interest of full disclosure, the only teleportation taking place is that of your money being teleported into my PayPal account. But at least I'm giving you a huge discount over the usual MSRP!!
Best Wishes to you and yours in this holiday season!
-RW-
