Here is something you can try to determined if you have an equipment issue or the brightness is being generated by the room
Warm your system up and give a quick listen to one of your reference CDs that you are very familiar with at your regular listening position (sweat spot)
Now replay the same tracks but go into the room in back of your listening room/chairs and give another listen
If my guess is right when you go into the room in back of your listen room ... the brightness will be greatly diminished because you are not sitting in the direct reverberant field that is aggravating the problem in the main listening position
By going into the other room and listening you remove yourself from the extended/sustained ringing in your main listening room that is being caused by the long RT60 times, Echo Slap, and Comb filtering
If your system still sounds overly bright when listening from the back room ... then you have an equipment issue because you are no longer being effected by the room's anomalies when you are listening from the back room ... it is the equipment that is generating the brightness ... metal dome tweeters ... tube in the pre amp fading or poor match ... etc etc etc
If when you listen from the back room the brightness is greatly reduced then
1 I know What the problem is
2 I know What's causing the problem
3 I know Where the problem is occurring
4 I know how to fix it and your significant other will never realize the you've applied some new room acoustics
Please let us know the results of your listening tests