what is the proper protocol

well. I think I already spent my quota of opinion on this thread, but I think this is worthwhile discussion and need to add a few more . . .

Viridian's reference to the FAQ's and the general terms of use of this site is right on. Everyone should check them out. Read it all - there's a lot of really good info there. If you read the section on "Shipping Policy", it's pretty clear. Below is the relevant text, and the URL for the entire statement:

Shipping policy
Shipping a Sold Item:
The buyer and seller will determine which party is responsible for paying the shipping charges. Regardless of this determination all items shipped will be F.O.B.* destination. In other words it will ALWAYS be the responsibility of the seller to guarantee that items shipped will be as described and fully functional upon arrival. The seller will further be responsible to insure each package for at least the amount the buyer has paid for the item.

http://www.audiogon.com/cgi-bin/faq.pl?Sellers/Shipping&1065032072&actg#1

This says it's the "Policy". A policy is somewhat more than guidelines. Of course if you read the terms of use, Audiogon has enough disclaimer included so as to render them essentially non-binding (ie in my layman's point of view). I hope/think we can all agree though that the disclaimer is done for liability protection, and that since we all agreed to follow the rules when we sign up, these are the terms that should be followed, and what we expect of each other.

Sellers who think their responsibility ends when they receive their money are pretty common on ebay, and IMO they are simply saying out loud that they aren't trust worthy. As such the only way I would do business with them is if the deal was simply so good it's worth gambling on.

Finally, I think there are reasonable positions taken above with respect to when the refund is given. The key is for buyer and seller to keep cool, be patient, communicate clearly and in all cases act in good faith. I think this one may be hard to cookie cutter in a discussion, or in guidelines. Further, I know there are commercial establishments who will follow the practice as Tvad described, and there are those that would immediately refund. I would say in general I would probably be more comfortable doing return business with the business in the latter example, all other things being equal. In other words, this is an issue of service quality, not necessarily performance.

I understand this inclination. I can say that the company with whom I had this transaction has stellar customer service, and is one of the most highly regarded manufacturers in the high end industry. Communication was excellent, and I never had any doubt of a satisfactory outcome.

exactly - it's the total package that counts.

I am in the camp that believes an item belongs to the seller until it is properly delivered to the buyer in the as-described condition. All shipping/insurance issues are the seller's, in the absence of a prior agreement with the buyer to the contrary. I would promptly refund the buyer for goods lost in shipping, as soon as it was reasonably determined the item was lost. This highlights the importance of using a shipping method with tracking for all but very low cost items.

"as soon as it was reasonably determined the item was lost"

I'd agree with that too - it should take no more than a week or so to file a claim and have the shipping company admit that it is lost and start a search. In the case I described, I was able to have fedex redirect the package to a new address after it was found (over a month and many phone later) so the ability to redirect the lost package (at least at fedex) should provide protection for the seller and allow for a much quicker refund to the buyer.