if you're reading this then you already know...

I buy only items that I already know about and am interested in buying. However, I will look at ads for items I'm not familiar with to learn something about a new (to me) product. Either way, what annoys me about the "if you're reading this" line is: (i) as bdgregory notes, it is presumptuous, (ii) often the line is offered up in lieu of any description of the condition of the item (except the opaque "9/10") and (iii) it sounds like the something a used car salesman, a carnival barker or some other type of high pressure sales person would use in lieu of real information (kind of insults your intelligence).

I generally do not care to read about what a phenomenal product is being sold so the seller can then upgrade to an even more phenomenal product. Therefore, I don't really mind when there is not a lot of rhetoric in the ad, especially since I conduct my own research on items I purchase. I do however like to be provided with an honest description of the item and its condition, as well as any historical information such as whether it has been repaired, upgraded, or recently checked out at the factory, and whether it has any "quirks" or other issues I should be aware of. Of course pictures of the actual item are very helpful. A seller cannot possibly address every buyer's issues and questions in a for-sale ad, which makes it a plus when a seller takes the time to completely and truthfully answer specific questions from individual potential buyers. I would not buy from a non-responsive seller, or one who I thought was giving me a line of BS.

With the internet and the "copy/paste" feature no ad has to go wanting for informtion.

Who is to lazy to copy & paste?

Following some of the opinions in this thread, an ideal ad (grammar/spelling errors intentional)
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Component ABC

If your looking at this you alredy know what it is.

Sorry, no pix available, dno't have camara. Has a few nick on top and front and usual wear but not so bad

Lowballers will be castrated will a dull rock.
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I like your approach to lowballers especially the pun of low"ball"ers being castrated.