I keep asking myself if my set-up now with loads of bass which i can feel is wrong
It depends....organ music, Black eyed peas, hip hop, rap and dance all have bass you can often feel.
If you are physically feeling the bass on all forms of music then there is something out of balance.
I have heard many audiophiles mention that because of the huge problems integrating a sub into a 2 channel setup, they tend to not use a sub, is this the reason why many forgo the search to integrate low end bass into their systems?
The issue is that bass energy is enormously difficult and expensive to reproduce accurately. A good sub that just helps with the bottom octave can cost as much if not more than both of the main speakers - all this for just the bottom octave!
The treble frequency range is the cheapest range of music to reproduce accurately (tweeters do this with relative ease and with little power). The mid range is much harder primarily because your ears are the most discerning in this range and this is where you have most music and vocals. However, physically, the bass is by far the toughest to reproduce without heaps of distortion. Since your ears are extremely sensitive to 100 Hz compared to 20 Hz, sub woofer harmonic distortion can easily bleed out of the 20 to 40 Hz range and ruin the bass from you main speakers. Linkowitz has a web page describing this issue. So trust him not me.
Linkowitz states
if the 40 Hz 2nd harmonic of a 20 Hz tone is at a 24 dB lower level, then it will sound equally as loud as the fundamental. This corresponds to 6% 2nd harmonic distortion. The 3rd harmonic distortion would have to be below 1%, or over 38 dB down, in order that it is less loud than the 20 Hz fundamental. It all leads to very low distortion requirements. The fundamental frequency sound pressure level needs to be above 70 dB to even become audible and it should not be masked by higher frequency distortion products.
For a detailed investigation of requirements see: Louis D. Fielder & Eric M. Benjamin, "Subwoofer performance for accurate reproduction of music", JAES, Vol. 36, Number 6, pp. 443 (1988).
Enough said.