About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Hey Pat, have you had a chance to listen to the new Roy Orbison LP. I got an copy, I have never really been a strong fan of his but this is really a nice LP, I may have to listen to a bit more of his music. The LP quality and sound is amoung the best I have heard. PS, after our chat this morning I may not wait to use the name Linn once I have kids but instead save up for an LP-12 turntable and name it Emily.
dav

Davt,

Sorry but my memory is pretty poor at the moment. I have the album where he is singing with a bunch of different heavyweights if that's the one you mean. I do like it. I also have an import pressing of his greatest hits. Man, is that a walk down memory lane. He was one of those great artists that made a lasting impact on the music scene. If there is another album you're referring to then I haven't heard it.

I enjoyed our visit. Talking about Linn used for a middle name put a lasting smile on my face. Buying a Linn and naming it Emily is priceless.

I like the Hey Hey My My banner. Another great Neil Young song that captures the melancholy aspects of shedding our mortal coil is Sugar Mountain.

BTW, like many others I only know you from what I’ve read here, and you probably don’t recognize me since I rarely post (perhaps out of fear of sounding trite or from feeling a bit inferior when I see the systems of most who do post often). I’m glad though to see you’re a believer and I’m looking forward to meeting you at the next Sugar Mountain (and fortunately we won’t be leaving that one).

Praying for you, Barb, and the gene pool.

Bill

Pat, thank you for your update. Your one hell of a guy!!

I want to tell you a little story, and I hope it doesn't bore you. About 20 years ago, my dad was in the hospital, faced with having his decision on whether he would undergo his 2nd bypass surgery. He had been thru it all before about 8 years prior and had come to the conclusion that he would rather not deal with going thru it all again. My 2 brothers and my mom talked me into going in and trying to talk him into having the surgery. Playing on his possible ability to continue to see his grandkids grow up, I told him that we all wanted him to have the surgery. The docs at the time gave him a 50/50 chance of surviving the surgery. I could tell he didn't want to, but if everyone wanted him to, he would have it. Long story short, he had the surgery, but never had much of a life afterwards. As a matter of fact, it proved to be a living hell for him the next 7 years. Both legs amputated way up past the knees, daily cramps and phantom pains that would have him literally screaming for up to 24 hours at a time. Even large amounts of morphine did no good to give him relief. I have long regretted talking him into having that last bypass surgery and have cried about it many times. He passed away about 5 years ago, and before he died, I told him how sorry I was for talking him into doing what he really didn't want to do. He laughed and said, that it was his decision all along and that I shouldn't worry about it. I leaned down and gave him a big hug and kissed his forehead. We both had tears running down our faces, as I do now talking about it. When my dad died after years of pain and torment, he just went to sleep and didn't wake up. It was kind of cool though, he actually had a smile on his face, which was something I had not seen from him in a long time. I felt sadness and loss, but those were my own selfish feeling for my loss. It took a very short time before I got a very vivid realization, that I feel was placed there by a power greater than myself. I could imagine my dad dancing with angels. His long suffering was over and I was greatful for his peace. he deserved it. He had fought a long battle and finally got his just reward.

What I learned from this, was it is each persons own decision to decide their lifes choices. It is my responsibility to support that persons choice and accept it. This actually has very little to do with what you are going thru, but any choice you make will be fully supported by me. Thank you for sharing your difficult times with me. It means more to me than you will ever realize. May Gods love and peace be with you!

Steve

Pat,
I read your detailed post about what your body, and, in a sort of almost detached, absolutely rivetingly honest way, you described what your mind and soul are going through.......I did a double take, shook my head and conclude that, in my entire life, I have never witnessed or been privy to such a display of 1)total honesty in the face of almost indescribable discomfort and total realization of the facts, unobscured, unfiltered and unsmeared or filtered from your full consciousness 2) total lack of self-pity, 3) preservation of your appreciation of what's important to you right up to the end, but 4) most starkly, undisguised and screaming loudly at us all is this message that hangs out there, as if suspended for all to see, hear and touch:

I, Lugnut, am near the end of the road, but I will bare it all and live what's left with all of you, because you all may benefit from what I'm telling you and feeling and thinking. It may change your (ours, that is) way of dealing with life, death, pleasures, disappointments and put them all in a perspective that reading your epic journey will cement in a different, shuddering way.

In my book you stand alone in my encounters of persistent and unflinching pure-bloooded guts and fiber for this last hugely selfless and, costly, to your energy and resources, stand to drum into us the real and relative values of life's hills, valleys, cliffs, volcanoes and peaks, which you articulate to us as you coast them daily. The biggest shock - not in a sense that I am surprised that it is you who is the author - rather than the fact that anybody, not yet sainted or deified - can have this strength and will to make a statement of this magnitude.......this blows me away.

May your final thoughts and solace be not that you have guided us, albeit true, but that you have left a legacy for Barb and your gene pool that any other Medal of Honor winner, will look down at you, smile and say, "Yeah, he is one of us..........." This legacy to your family will be peerless, matchless and priceless to them in their years ahead, not to mention the genes giving them the same Right Stuff to achieve their own amazing feats of living that their forebear did. That is your royal prize, the biggest of them all. That will be the thought and satisfaction that will finally allow you to go in real peace............

I am sorry, deeply, that I didn't ever meet you, but believe you me, we know you. And we are infintely richer for it.

Thanks, Pat.