Your title sounds like spam, but it appears to be a real email.
I just did a major system upgrade, and am pretty pleased with what I have done, but considering my old system came from garage sales, it's a big improvement.
But I don't seriously have the upgrade bug, even though I can afford to do more. I am not too typical a female--Aeronautical engineer, enjoy working with power tools, not afraid of technology in general. My husband, an electical engineer, is not into the 'hobby' aspect at all, even though he does enjoy listening to music.
I was told once that the ratio of male/female subscribers to Stereophile is 50/1. When I go into a used CD store, I notice that the male/female customer ratio is closer to 50/50. So it isn't just a love of music that sets male audiophiles apart.
I think the obsession with the technology itself is a turn-off for many women--it is for me. After recently attending a local hi-end store open house I was put off by guys hanging around talking about expensive equipment -- it has a certain overtone that reminds me of territorial marking. But this is a problem in many hobbies that are not dominated by women--aviation (which I have spent a lot of time with, as well) comes to mind.
It is pretty rare for a couple to be mad about the same hobby (unless that's how they met).
I know women who quilt, or collect Barbie dolls. I know men who collect books or tinker with old cars. So both men and women have the capability to get completely nutty over 'things.' Other people have no identifiable hobbies whatsoever. So you might as well ask what, psychologically, differentiates those with hobbies from those without?
The important thing is each person should be allowed to have their odd little passions for 'things' without it being a commentary on their love for each other. It is most important, in my, mind, that the hobby cause no financial strain.
So good luck, and ask each other for tolerance for each other's little passions toward 'things.'
Enough of this, gonna go hug my tolerant hubby . ..