@greginnh - I think you make a point--"everything sounds great until you hear something better" that is worth underscoring, whatever the budget. If someone hasn't been around the audio scene in a while, they may not appreciate how far we have come in a number of areas (though I'm a big advocate of vintage stuff too). That can help establish a benchmark for what a good system is capable of reproducing. Granted, our sonic "memories" are short, but there is value in hearing what a top system is able to do and why it is regarded as such. I would think a reputable dealer, if approached honestly about this (with an appointment arranged in advance) ought to be willing to let a prospective buyer at X budget hear what that dealer's "top system" is capable of, if only to show that the dealer is able to assemble a system at lesser cost which has some of the virtues the buyer prizes--
@inna - the inability to compare all prospective brands at one shop is a real concern that I mentioned in my post. At the level of the gear you are talking about--very expensive stuff- I would ask dealer A to work with dealer B to allow a comparison within one of their shops. Not sure if this would work-- home trial is best, of course, but apart from specialty dealers selling top dollar stuff and places like Music Direct that offer a no questions asked return policy, that may be the only way, apart from having a friend or colleague drag their own piece of equipment over.
I know I'm pushing the 'use a dealer' theme, but that's where they pay off- I had one dealer back East who had no problem bringing pieces to my home (sometimes, with the manufacturer) for home trial. And, I didn't always cut a check.
The limited opportunity to make real comparisons is not confined to new or returning to the fold audiophiles-- we all suffer from it to a degree--which, I think, explains some of the turnover in gear.
A friend with a killer system and a few connections also isn't a bad thing to have. I know a couple of different hot beds of enthusiasts in different parts of the country who are constantly trying out new and different stuff. One can benefit from their reach and participate in the listening sessions if the opportunity presents itself.