OP,
It seems you are investigating the right things. I have had season tickets to the Oregon Symphony for ten years, 7th row center. Over this time the softest music slowly rises out of a black background and crescendos we’re a bit to much for my ears… where resolution is reduced because it is simply too loud… but we are talking about a couple seconds over many hours of concerts.
So, for me, this showed the audio levels that are appropriate. Only the very loudest crescendos being really loud and the very softest pieces coming out of the void. This gives you a base line of what a system should sound like. You want a dead quiet background < 30db in your listening room and have the quietest pieces gently rise from this background, then the largest crescendos push the limit of when your ears start loosing differentiation.
A full symphony is the key to gauging the sound pressure levels.
Your equipment, well that is another story. The better it is, the more it will mimic the real world.