I remember when I first got back into this hobby after a twenty five year layoff, I couldn't believe what had happened in the area of cabling, power conditioning and room correction. Back then, you bought some equipment, made a quick trip to Radio Shack and you were up and running.
I made all the classic mistakes. I got impressed with certain components, so I put them all together with used Valhalla cabling and then wondered how such great stuff could sound so bad!
So I paid some pretty painful restocking fees, and started listening to the local gurus.
I've been to several HES's and CES's; never miss RMAF, and today I really know what I like, and how to get there.
I can totally relate to your last comment about not wanting to screw up what you've got. I have a total lack of audio nervosa, and the more I listen to my current setup, the more enamored I get.
There have been some definite "aha" moments; but the biggest one was when I stopped listening for what impressed me, and started listening for absolute neutral. All the systems that impressed me in the past within a few months had me saying "OK. What's next?" With neutral as my "holy grail", the software becomes the focus, and not the system.
You are so right. Being in a good place in this hobby is nice; but I don't think we were foolish before; I just think the dues in this hobby are pretty steep.