My audiophile take on the symphony last night.

Bizango1, congratulations on attending your first live orchestral performance. Your reaction to it is not unusual. But, I would encourage you to look at (hear) this first experience from a different perspective:

*****My wife said it wasn't loud enough and I agreed. The highs were rolled off and there wasn't an expansive soundstage. I couldn't "hear behind the instruments" like I can at home on the hifi. The soloist sounded small and far away and the bass drum lacked definition****

I have no doubt that this is what you heard. But, I would suggest that the
truth is that at home you listen at levels that are louder than live (obviously), and that the highs of your audio system are tipped up. As far as soundstage goes, there are too many variables as far as where you were sitting to make a valid comparison.

Why is all this important? This is not about being a purist. I notice that all your comments were about the sound, and none about the music.
Nothing wrong with that; we all love ear candy. But, I would encourage you to remember that composers compose with the sound of an orchestra
playing in a concert hall in mind. Not with a larger than life bass drum or tipped up highs. The music takes a different (and deeper) meaning when heard with instrumental balances and placement as the composer intended them. An analogy:

Have you ever gone to a restaurant and ordered the "smoked" ribs, only to discover that the kitchen had goosed the flavor with artificial "smoke"
flavoring. The flavor then becomes cloying and over the top, devoid of the
nuance and subtlety of the various spices and hickory? Same thing with
live vs. your hifi. I am certain that if you felt that the highs were rolled off in the concert hall, when you listen to the "William Tell Overture" at home the piccolo is too prominent, and is probably overpowering the clarinets. Likewise, even though you felt that the overall sound was not loud enough, I assure you that the difference between the softest and the loudest moments of the Dvorak symphony was much greater than when heard at home; that gives it much more emotional impact.

I strongly encourage you continue supporting your local symphony, and to go to the concerts with less of an audiophile head. I think that in short order you will find that the rewards are much greater that way.

That is exactly how it sounds and anyone who goes regularly to the concert hall know this.

"The highs were rolled off"

The supertweeter must have had the night off.

Seriously, you have to attend a lot of live musical performances in a lot of venues (good and bad) to get a real perspective on what music can, should or does sound like. It is usually all over the map from sublime to forgettable to irritating, just like the recordings we listen to at home.

I've heard a symphony sound sublime live one day at teh local symphony hall and a rock band sound absolutely horrible like in an echo chamber another in the exact same SOTA venue. Seating location alone can make a huge difference.

It can be a real eye opener when you come to the realization that the absolute sound exists in theory perhaps but seldom ever in reality. It also helps take a lot of pressure disappointment and potential expense out of this whole audiophile experience deal when what we hear only occasionally lives up to our expectations.

I think if the perfect sound is what you seek, get a really good synthesizer or musical instrument and learn to produce it yourself. Otherwise just enjoy things including live musical performance and recordings for what they are as best you can.

Funny thing about live music - no matter how bad the acoustics are, you can tell it's live and not recorded. Keep in mind that many orchestral recordings are made from the conductor's perspective, just as piano recordings are made from the player's perspective. You cannot duplicate this when sitting well into the venue.

Well that is what I hate about live music. You can't adjust the volume or the balance.

I want a system that sounds better then live music not as good as live music.