Jokes of and about audiophiles

how many audiogon posters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

seven: one to actually put the bulb in the socket, five to determine whether the cable running to the lamp will affect the quality of the light output and the last to argue that cables are meaningless without a light meter that will measure in millionths of candle power.

The audiophile, on his way to his Linn dealer to have his LP12 adjusted and tweaked for the 50th time, stops at the bank to make a quick cash withdrawal. Figuring that it will only take a couple of minutes he leaves his precious 'table in full view on the back seat of his car. He runs into the bank. Upon returning to his car he notices that one of the windows has been smashed. Oh no!!! he cries in despair and when he looks in he sees: TWO LP12's.

Q: How can you tell that the audiophile is sitting in the sweet spot and that his listening chair is perfectly level? A: He's drooling out of both sides of his mouth.

How do you keep an audiophile in suspense for 24 hours?

-I'll tell you tomorrow.

Let me elevate this thread:

Two audio experts, one from Circuit City and one from Bose, are walking down the street. They notice, over on a porch, a dog licking his "privates." The Circuit City guy laments to his buddy, "Man, I wish I could do that." The Bose man replies, "I do too, but I'm afraid he might bite me!" [:)]