Akg_ca: I take all of your points and do know exactly what you're talking about. If I lived nearer to more than one store, and if I had a network of audio buddies, it would all be easier.
There are early DDD recordings made by Deutsche Grammophon that are simply unlistenable on certain rigs, but not on others.
All that being said, when you audition a system and then swap out just one (any one) of the components, you often hear some kind of change. The nature of the change will be described on one or more of a number of axes: more/less space, imaging, depth, fullness of timbre, jump factor, etc. etc. One of those axes, for me, is "forgiving" vs. "relentless". I've heard it, and I've used those adjectives.