In my experience, the cabinet finish is not so much the issue. My wife is more concerned with the dominating visual presence in the room. Speakers that will perform well close to the front wall are more acceptable as a rule. This also helps to minimize the visibility of THE WIRES.
Even when I had white Goldmund speakers that looked like something from Amana or Whirlpool, her greatest concern was the fact that I had them 3 feet out from the back wall.
Mr. Tennis' suggestion of large panels can work but only in a very large space. In more confined areas like my living quarters, they look enormous and take over the environs.
Something you might consider, depending on your living situation and you wife's need for attention, might be a state of the art headphone rig. Then you won't be able to hear the complaining and you will have a sound system to yourself. Meanwhile, put something small and inconspicuous where the primary system sits now and use that for ambient entertainment. You'll come out of this with extra money and enormous psychological advantage. Not to mention the glorious privacy this will afford you.