As a Ph.D in music, I imagine your wife plays an instrument and/or has heard a great deal of live music. I highly recommend bringing her along for auditions. She will have a good ear.
If a dealer insists on turning up the volume walk away. Its an old trick to overcome a system's shortcomings. If it does not sound good at reasonably low volume (you can talk to your wife without raising your voice) then walk away.
Listen to several tube amps/preamps and several solid state amps. Tube amps tend to emphasize even order harmonics of which your wife is familiar. I'd be quite surprised if, after test driving, your wife did not clearly prefer tube electronics. Don't be afraid of tubes. If after some heavy test driving you don't like tubes, then you will know for sure. Keep in mind that many retailers will try to sway you from tubes because they take more effort on part of the retailer.
The maggies are one of the best values in audio. Trust your wife's ears :-)
If you can deal with a soldering iron, you will find tremendous value and engineering in these two sites: k and k audio (Kevin Carter), and Audio Note Kits (Brian).
Consider a turntable (used Lenco with RB250 tonearm).
The advice to take your time and listen to many set ups is excellent. Unfortunately, sonics do not necessarily correlate well with price or retailers advice. Trust your wife on this one. When you find a set up that is good for you, it will sound significantly better than your comparisons.