My dunlavy scV sound harsh

I agree with the above also. The Onkyo pre/pro is good stuff, but not in the same league as your Dunlavy SC-V. Although the Proceed will do, you'll also need a really good source that would be in the same league as your Dunlavy's.
Dunlavy's are used in some of the highest end mastering studios around the world for the reason that they will reveal everything and anything... I wish I had pair.

a different pre for sure.

Which Onkyo pre/pro are you using? I own an Onkyo SR-706 AV receiver (does duty in my HT setup) that I have used both alone and as pre/pro w/ Rotel amplification. I know it is an unfair comparison of an AV receiver with a dedicated pre/pro, but I have definitely found the Onkyo to have a "glassy" and somewhat harsh sound quality. I am currently auditioning some integrated amps- and the difference is considerable.

Have you heard your speakers sound more to your liking with other amplification? Perhaps when you first auditioned them?

Class A solid state or high powered tube gear would be best.

We also know nothing about his room... the room acoustics can make or break a stereo. Even the best stereo in an average room will sound no better than so-so.

Can you share pictures of how your room is setup? My guess would be that is the main issue here.