Etiquette for a listening session?


'Sup?

Every now and then when my friends have nothing better to do, they'll acquiesce to my standing invite to come over to listen to some tunes on the main system downstairs. Over the years I've learned to choose my invites wisely, based on whether or not the invitee seems to evince any leaning towards or sympathy for audiophilia.

A few times I've been incredibly lucky and chanced upon a friend who doubles as an audiophile and we while away a happy evening and night spinning cd's and lp's and talking about the tracks and artists - and the drinks we have. We do talk, but between tracks or artists, not during. But a few times I've had people over, usually as part of a small group, who insist on talking over the track, much in the same way I constantly annoy my wife by talking during a movie.

The other weekend I invited over a couple, the husband with whom I play in a band; the wife whom I've never met. And while my wife and I and they nursed drinks and listened to tunes, his wife insisted on talking about whatever, bringing up pictures on her phone, and evincing every sign that she had never seriously considered the idea of a listening session to be something worthwhile.

Okay, I get it. It's not for everyone; analogous to if a friend who was into home theater had just gotten a new, hi-end projector had invited me over to watch a movie. Yes, I would have appreciated the clarity, etc. But it's still just a movie, no matter how much resolution there may be on a screen (actually, if there were indeed such a friend, I'd try to get into the video aspect as much as I'd like her or him to enjoy the audio, if only out of respect).

But it's also happened before, like with another (former) band member, another guitarist, who kept talking through the tracks while the rest of us tried (or pretended to try - I can only speak for myself) to listen.

So what's proper etiquette? Do I play the good host and let come what may? Do I lay down ground rules? I know that most people don't actively listen to music, nor appreciate the nuances of a good system, and usually don't care too much, either -- gearheads are gearheads, no matter the passion, and are appreciated only by other gearheads. Just as I remember, in retrospect, a few audiophiles when I was younger who obviously had good systems, but back then I neither knew nor cared about stuff like that, and so was much the same kind of person I'm complaining about now.

But how would you address that kind of behavior or reaction during a listening session?


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You are right don_c55, nobody gets it!  My mom who always loved music and still does was over with step dad.  She did nothing but yap and was in and out of the room after they initiated the listening.  My step dad OTOH was mesmerized!  Go figure. In a nutshell my rig is an effing time machine, a portal to another world, no drug could ever touch it, and if no one gets it I feel sorry for them cuz they're missing out!!
It is like a drug, one that induces euphoria for those susceptible to its effects, but few are. I find a friend or three who enjoy listening and they're fun to listen with....but most people don't get it.
As mentioned I find most people too impatient to sit and listen to music.  It's a lost skill to just listen.  I mostly listen by myself and on occasion my wife will poke into my listening room for a song or two.  I don't mind the solitary listening, but I think a lot of people don't value the art of music and are missing out on one of the great joys of life.  They have become occupied with social media and their phones.   

Throughout the years I've found that the only ones that truly enjoy a listening session and know how it works are people that have the same interests. These people are usually audiophiles, like those that read these forms. Other friends and/or their spouses are into other interests and view music and stereo equipment differently.

I think you have to gauge the situation and the people. Don't forget that there are lots of folks who simply can't hear what you hear and so they can't be immersed in listening. Even if you sat them down, told them to be quiet and listen they won't get it because they simply can't! My taste buds aren't that great, my nose isn't either (chicken or egg - I know) so someone can talk about the undertones of this flavor or not and I say, "Pass the salt."

I've had folks over and pretty soon realize they want something else other than a "listening session" and/or can't experience what I do. It's then I remember that my Mom used to say, "Company is always right."

It doesn't take long to figure out where they are. I've had some other folks over (particularly young folks - college age) and they were like, "Wow! I can't believe this!" When you get that reaction you know they have ears and are ready to listen and you can point out stuff to listen to or you can just listen.