Musician vs. audiophile


We need direction here. My wife, a musician and says my Sophia 3s, powered by BAT 3VK IX tube pre amp and 250w solid state amp sounds flat compared to a freaking Best Buy box store McIntosh/Martin Logan setup...  I can't honestly disagree, specifically when our rig is at low volume.  It lacks color and punch, even with 2ea. JL 12" subs... Help me with your recommendation, please!!!      
repeter
I was not (rpt not) being facetious. As far as musicians being required to have “good ears” in order to play, I doubt it. Surely there must be musicians who are tone deaf. You yourself said they use ear plugs sometimes. Yet they still play on. One assumes they just watch fhe director and hope for the best. 
Just out of curiosity, do orchestra musicians or any musicians wear ear plugs whilst playing?
Surely you've seen lots of musicians wearing IEMs...they provide substantial SPL attenuation while still allowing the players to hear themselves and the rest of the group.  Peter Townsend was one of the first rock musicians to acknowledge significant hearing damage but others reportedly include John Entwhistle, Neil Young, Eric Clapton, Jeff Beck and more I am sure there are others.  I have a friend whose tinnitus is so painful that he can no longer play.  There is actually a web site called Hearing Education and Awareness for Rockers (HEARNET.COM).
Your wife is right.........you better agree with that or sign up to eharmony 

I am not a fan of the little 50 tubes used in the Bat. Try a pre with a larger tube. Seriously big tubes big sound......deHavilland's are such a bargain and sound so good. 
**** Surely there must be musicians who are tone deaf. You yourself said they use ear plugs sometimes. Yet they still play on. One assumes they just watch fhe director and hope for the best. ****

I really am surprised at your apparent cluelessness about this subject; I expected more.  I would be glad to educate you if it interests you, but a certain amount of openness to being mistaken is necessary.  Do you even know what exactly you mean by “tone deaf”?
Pure bs about musicians being deaf. Who picks out the equipment that the musician uses? Would I ask a guitar player to pick my cymbal array or would a piano player ask a drummer if the piano is tuned? I know what a ride cymbal sounds like, I could ask 100,000 non drummers and they wouldn’t have a clue. If musicians are deaf, why do guitar players change guitars out almost every song? Why do some bands use Marshall amps and others use fender tube amps? It all makes a difference. 
What I don’t get is that you can go to a outside jazz concert, say acoustic alchemy is playing, and everything sounds fantastic. The group is using $1000 fender amps, and maybe the sound system that everything is playing thru costs a few thousand $$$$, why do audiophiles think they need $200,000 worth of equipment to recapture this sound? The specs on fender amps/Marshall amps are very limiting, but in our dedicated audio rooms, the specs of our speakers and amps are much better than what the source was. I go to a lot of concerts, some are fantastic sounding while others I would rather be at home listening to this group thru my system.