First of all, "drinking from a fire hydrant" is an awesome descriptor thank you! Looking at some of the current preamp listings this jumps out:
https://www.audiogon.com/listings/phono-edge-electronics-si-1-2017-12-22-preamplifiers-59ecf403-a357..
$695 is well below your $1K budget, for a preamp that retailed for $2150. I've not heard it specifically but I've owned two other pieces from Edge over the years, a Signature One preamp and one of their more entry level amps. Both were excellent. You are right about no return policy but buying something used at the right price can make for pretty easy resale if it doesn't work out. As always just one opinion YMMV. Good luck!
https://www.audiogon.com/listings/phono-edge-electronics-si-1-2017-12-22-preamplifiers-59ecf403-a357..
$695 is well below your $1K budget, for a preamp that retailed for $2150. I've not heard it specifically but I've owned two other pieces from Edge over the years, a Signature One preamp and one of their more entry level amps. Both were excellent. You are right about no return policy but buying something used at the right price can make for pretty easy resale if it doesn't work out. As always just one opinion YMMV. Good luck!