From your first post to your subsequent replies, you’ve upheld the false dichotomy.
You started with telling people "I think you have to decide, are you a music lover or audiophile? "
Which is a false dichotomy. As you acknowledged, the majority will say "both." Because it’s a false dichotomy.
I just get annoyed when false propositions like those are promulgated in regard to audiophiles. "Audiophiles just care about the gear, they don’t really care about music!"
You can speak for yourself, to tell us you became overwhelmingly focused on the gear/sound. But generalizing this to telling people they have to decide between being an audiophile/music lover is just false.
I certainly DO know what you mean by getting crazy thinking about the gear a lot. I’ve been there. But even at those points I personally never stopped being a music lover. It’s not a "virtue" that I remained a music lover, just a plain, dull old fact. If someone is far more skewed to being interested in the gear for most of the time, I don’t denigrate that in the least.
In any case, I’m glad you feel you’re in a better place, able to enjoy things.