It’s you.


I’m somewhat thick-skinned. Usually I’m the last to recognize I’m being insulted, maybe I’m just a little slow, whatever...

I’ve been a member for several years, and read a lot more than I post. Some of you have been so gracious and helpful, I can’t thank you enough. Some of you post your insights with an awesome sense of humor, it makes learning fun! 

I appreciate the people that host this site, it’s a great resource for our hobby.

Once in awhile, someone posts a question like, ‘How can we make Audiogon better?’, or something close.

Generally, the responses mention changes to the site format, criticize dealers that participate, etc. Some gentle souls mention things like ‘our behavior toward each other could be better’ - only to be told people need to toughen up! If they can’t take the heat, leave! 

Only the strong survive, right?

Wrong, it ain’t a tough undertaking, and there’s no good reason to suffer at the hands of people with poor online communication skills. The term audiophile does not strike fear in the hearts of men, it’s people that enjoy hifi. I doubt the National Guard is put on high alert during audio shows. 

It’s a hobby, it should be light and fun. This forum is the only way some interact. It is some people’s social network. I’m guessing some on here are shut ins, elderly, in poor health, and/or suffer from who knows what. Some have modest systems, but are proud of them. They are people, that lose spouses, dogs, jobs. They get cancer and they are afraid of not being able to pay their bills. Some are very rich and very lonely. Some are bullied at school, work, and home. 

But yet when they reach out, heaven forbid with a innocently uneducated question or comment, some of you take the opportunity to knock them down a notch, expose their ignorance, help them get tough, right? 

Most of the people on here are too nice to say anything, so they just post around and ignore your insults and disrespectful comments. 

Some of you poke your head in a discussion just to leave a comment criticizing the thread, or minimizing another’s opinion. Shoot one across the bow and on the next, just toughening people up. 

My money is on you coming from a point of weakness and building yourself up at the expense of others. There’s no telling what got you in that place, but please don’t make others suffer as a result of it. Remember what Thumper’s mother said. 

I’m a filthy hearted, scabby sinner, but I try,

So, please be nice and patient with the people on here. Don’t be the savage of a hifi site, go to a beer joint with bars on the windows, that’s the place to work that kink out...,
uncledemp
On an audio related note, what the world probably doesn't need is -
Men Without Hats.
Nice one Carp.

Did you know January 15th is National Hat Day?

I did not.

Little more obscure but ....

Hats Off To The Bull.....
I did not know that either. Also, interesting song. I must say I prefer my man Lyle Lovett's 'Don't Touch My Hat'.
Enjoying the banter, the playfulness.

One thing we face when people go "mean" is that negativity may be, for some/most (?), much more accessible than verbiage that illuminates the point with a lighter, perhaps inspiring, interested, encouraging, more intelligent, etc. touch; so when something seems "stupid," a longtime filter (tube?) is doing the work of interpretation - it could go back decades, even into youth - and because it's so reliable and apparently revealing of the truth, it can be difficult to recognize another possibility. We are too accustomed to it.

It's as if we are so used to one filter, we don't think about the possibility of installing another finer instrument. For some people, it's all the more inviting to "go negative" here, because there is very little apparent resistance (ohm). This is to say, the fullness of the anonymity factor is at play here... We send (amplify) our thoughts into the world with no awareness of the actual sound on the other side, the impact on the listener. This gives people a sense of false-freedom, as though there was no consequence to a statement that is sent with perhaps fairly forceful negative intention (?)... 

In my mind, it's actually quite possible to begin to influence the way that people perceive themselves here, but it will take real vigilance from those who have insight into the chemistry. Patience and vigilance, recognizing what works and what could do real harm, if that's what is at stake here. Is it? I think that's a real question for me... Sometimes I wonder if those who allow anger to reign over their expression are willing to challenge themselves to a new kind of chemical response...

The patience piece probably is necessary if a person is going to take this on at all, and thankfully patience is a plant that grows with proper attention and response. Maybe it's a muscle that grows with a certain amount of working out... Or...maybe I should be thankful for those who stress my patience muscle... and maybe some sort of synergy can build with others who can make sense of this kind of thing, as I'm suggesting... I'm sure there are excellent audio metaphors that capture the sound/electricity/damping, etc. of what I'm describing...

I don't know about you, but I actually see an interaction between the way I pay attention and my mood, my frustrations, etc. If I'm restless, I don't listen to my music as well. This is a real thing for me. I can use music to relax, but then it all goes much better if I'm relaxed and attentive BEFORE listening, because the quality of my listening is MORE IMPORTANT than most upgrades I might achieve... I'm suggesting that attention and patience and mood are fundamental not only to interactions on this platform, but also how I attend to my beautiful sound system... I would imagine some of you would not agree with that assessment (of my sound system), but then that's part of the beauty of our respective displacement ;-) and this forum is allows for the beauty and possibility of our combined interaction... Apparently, we are highly invested in a kind of intimate involvement with music and supporting equipment... isn't that interesting, the character of our intimacy interests...

One more thought... when it comes to the magnanimous and superlative descriptions that have, undoubtedly, drawn some of us into audiophile gear, along with the proof the gear itself provides, perhaps we can arouse interest in more refined reflection and responsiveness using the same tool.... the power of accurate, also poetical language! I find I 'get' better at it with any serious efforts I make...