Standmount speakers. I have $5000.

For playing EDM with a small, spouse-friendly form factor, try a stereo pair of Devialet Phantoms. They can play deeper than any stand-mount speaker mentioned thus far and remarkably, without any enclosure resonance. They're not as well-suited to jazz and small-ensemble music as some others but great for EDM. 

VanL speakerworks, Quartet's fully modified will run you a little less than the 5K and they never stop satisfying.  Will pair excellently with your described system.  

I have the 805d3 and they are good but I also have the jbl array 800 which is a horn speaker and imo the jbl are much better, Probably cant find them new though but I just got a pair for 2000. The whole array line with jbl are very musical nice bass great for all types of music and ht imo.( atleast in my experience the 1400 and the 800)

I too was at Capital Audio Fest and did the exact same thing. Those Fritz's were impressive.

Thanks again for all the helpful replies - some outliers aside this is a great group of insightful, conscientious people.

A few notes on my spec:

- bigger-box is ok (see Salk SS 7M). Spouse feng shue constraints are mostly around form/appearance, hence the need to swing to more traditional ’box’ in wood veneer.
- I’ve latched onto belief that bigger box with larger woofer, if not 3 drivers instead of 2, will "SPL" and fill my room dimensions better than smaller box. I’m open to being smacked down on that.
- for new I’m leaning towards internet-direct. For pre-own will consider both ’name’ and lo-name. I’m in no hurry.

Finally, I'm very keen on what orders-of-magnitude improvement I can reasonably expect over my current Nola Boxers v1.  I know this is somewhat complex question to answer/guess at, fraught with subjective impressions, room & genre specifics etc.