It is not the listener’s responsibility to worry about protecting the artist that way, IMO. Be free to not like an artist or have mixed feelings; but, that is different than “judging”. From your description it’s pretty obvious to me that she pushed some buttons for you. For an honest performer, that is getting about 3/4 of the way to the goal. Worrying about whether listeners will “like” them is toward the bottom of their list. Why should she have more “softness”? She is tough as hell and can exude a very raw attitude with a little theatricality, I get what you might be feeling about her. For me, it’s a Janis Joplin like Rock and Roll sensibility. I know that for me that part of my reaction to her attitude is that I am a man and she is a woman. Women are not supposed to be so rough, right? On the other hand, I think most men, if honest, would say they find it sexy as heck.