Given that there is an enormous variation in what kind of main speakers a subwoofer may be paired with, not to mention the enormous variation in room acoustic situations, a one-size-fits-all, plug-n-play solution is not possible. Even if the subwoofer(s) and mains have been designed as a package, low-frequency room acoustics still varies enough that some adjustments may be required during set-up.
You might consider working with the dealer or manufacturer who sold your main speakers, or maybe buy your subs through a dealer who is willing to do the setup.
Deep_333 wrote: "They release a flat curve to make themselves look good and sell a product."
Imo whether or not a flat curve earns a person’s business is their choice. I assume that subwoofer manufacturers who went to the trouble to achieve a flat curve sincerely believe in its merit.
"At the end, its a customer like myself who has to go to enormous lengths and months of tinkering and treatment to make it all work right."
To me, this statement implies that there may be room for improvement over whatever it was you tried.
"I may have very few variables to work with actually... Let’s see, a sub volume control and a crossover if my amp doesn’t have bass management, that’s it. To my knowledge, only Rythmik even offers a phase control that’s more than just a 0-180 flip switch. The rest is...crawl around, throw a bass trap, etc and make it work somehow."
Some subwoofer systems offer more degrees of freedom than others. For the record, Rythmik is not the only one who offers a phase control which is more than just a 0-180 flip switch. (Also just for the record, while I mentioned the crawl and bass traps in a previous post, neither are tools which I rely on.)
"Is my perception right or wrong gentlemen?"
It sounds to me like you are disappointed in your experience with subwoofers, and hold subwoofer manufacturers accountable. Is that correct? If not, can you clarify?
Duke