In all seriousness, get an in-wall and ceiling system.
Imo many gorgeous speakers mentioned and you prefer what is to me a ho-hum box speaker. No wood, no placement close to wall, walking around it, etc. Put the driver's inside the walls and be done. Obviously your priority is appearance over sound. Otherwise go for something like the Hill Plasmatronic. I'm done spending time on this. I hope you find your dream speakers!
Imo many gorgeous speakers mentioned and you prefer what is to me a ho-hum box speaker. No wood, no placement close to wall, walking around it, etc. Put the driver's inside the walls and be done. Obviously your priority is appearance over sound. Otherwise go for something like the Hill Plasmatronic. I'm done spending time on this. I hope you find your dream speakers!