Just ordered a vpi avenger

Congratulations. Nice setup.

Dropping that much dough, the dealer can at least setup the cartridge for it, if you also purchased a cart. Other than that, the setup is likely straight forward-unbox, follow instructions. Just make sure it's on a level surface.

From a dealers perspective it's more time/expense that needs to be accounted for. Doesn't hurt to ask. 

When you get a major appliance, delivery typically isn't free. Do tip them well, if they do.

Usually a table like that they should box it up and help load it in your car. It probably comes in a couple different boxes and in case more than one guy helps load I would be prepared with a couple bills to avoid the embarrassment of them having to split the tip.

Unless you are an expert in setting up a table, I think it makes sense for them to set it up. I also think that the appropriate time to negotiate their services would be before you gave them the $10K. VPI Avenger is probably a good choice, just be sure to select a cartridge that is worthy of that investment.

Tough to say what distance between you and the dealer begins to qualify for an extra set-up charge.  If you feel the need for the presence of an experienced person during set-up, you should go ahead and ask for that extra.  If they suggest a reasonable extra charge, I would pay it.  If they don't, I would still tip the set-up person who arrives at your house, after the work is done to your satisfaction.

Right. It can take hours, sometimes more than two, to set up a turntable for the first time. Doing this can void your ability to be helplessly dependent on sales and service. Don't fall prey to charlatans trying to sell you on the simplicity of turning a screw. Only with highly specialized training and years of experience can one operate a level. Besides, even if you do it yourself well then you will know its done right, but without the priceless joy of trusting in a professional paid money to do something you don't understand even in the slightest. Its simply not worth it.