Second opinions — how have others (including non-audiophiles) helped you?

I read an article long ago which pushed back against the idea that people had lost most of their sense of smell. What researchers discovered was that people lacked the language to designate what they were experiencing, and that with some training in olfactory vocabulary, their sense of smell seemed to improve. Of course, their senses were fine -- what improved was their communication about their senses. And as any wine expert can tell you, this can feed back into their ability to discriminate. Hume wrote about this long ago, by the way.

Very deep observation indeed...

We cannot perceive adequately a phenomenon for which we have no concept whatsoever...And further we cannot improve our perception of this phenomenon if we cannot even name it...

It is true in audio threads where basic phenomenon are not adequately described because they are not rightfully conceptualized and not rightfully named...

Completely agree, hilde!
I call it the "partner test": if my partner, who enjoys music a lot, but is not a hobbyist, could not hear an upgrade, I'd start to think I was "squinting" to see a difference to justify the expense.  If it's an improvement subtle enough to require "trained ears" to hear it, I'm happy enough to get it, but I don't want to pay much for it.  (Subtle improvements might generally be the only ones available at the outer reaches of the hobby, but most of us aren't there.)

I once immediately moved on from a 3x$ CDP upgrade, when the "improvement" only seemed audible with concerted effort, on some tracks.
As you suggest, I find the same thing with wine: people can actually taste a lot, and appreciate excellent samples, even if they claim to not know anything about wine.  They can't identify the vineyard by taste, but neither can I.
(PS:  Reductio ad absurdem and Hume in one day -- you're elevating the discourse around here!)

I am not surprised by the the experience with your wife. When treating a room one often over treats and then finds that one has to 'dial' it back. Somewhat like tone control use ( I lack these). Two sets of ears are better then one. I often use my wife's as well. She has better upper register hearing, having much to do with the 'air' within a recording. 

You have done a great job with your system. I am impressed.

I have a sense that many people are much more experienced than mastering92 gives them credit for.

Indeed, and for sure. The main difference in my experience is they don't have the vocabulary to express what they are hearing. An awful lot of audiophiles have this same problem. But in terms of being able to hear and know what is better, hate to say it, won't be breaking news because I've said it before, but sometimes the worst listeners are audiophiles. 

Normal non-audiophile people who just really enjoy music are the best listeners. One audiophile, his wife came up to me one night, made sure no one would hear, and said to me, "I could listen to this all night!" This told me yes indeed, his system is so analytical and causes so much listener fatigue even his own wife can't stand it. She helped me to know I am on the right track.   

Another time an elderly man with two hearing aids told me no point sitting in the sweet spot don't bother with me I have 2 hearing aids! No sir, sit right here. Five minutes later he is gushing about the imaging saying he never dreamed his hearing aids worked so good! 

This man taught me one, we do not hear according to how good our ears work but how good our brains work, and two, he knows the difference between hearing my system and hearing his hearing aids! Whole slew of audiophiles could benefit from these two lessons. 

Another friend one time was really excited and asking about how one recording can sound so different than another? Like many he'd only heard music on systems that make everything sound the same. I'm telling him about all the various steps involved between performance and playback and we're playing different stuff and after one track he says you know that one seemed just a little, I don't know, more clear or real, than the others.  

So I said well this is Audioquest label they have recording details let's see. And sure enough, this one track he picked was recorded direct to two-track. The others were all the usual mix-downs. So my friend who never did any critical listening noticed something many audiophiles would find pretty hard to hear, even if you drew their attention to it. 

Another time Chris Brady is over, and yes this is the Teres Audio Chris Brady who made the bearing and motor in my turntable. So we have a nice listening session and towards the end as he is leaving he says that is one fine sounding system I am quite familiar with that record and that is the best I have heard it- and you know I believe it sounds better now than when I got here.  

Which is something I had known for a long time. My system does sound better and better as it is played longer.  But was good to hear such an experienced listener as Chris Brady heard it too.  

I could go on and on. One of these experiences is even written up on my System Page. Deborah and Keith came over to hear my Moabs and during one song I very quietly removed the cable elevators. Deborah was listening with her eyes closed and opened them when she heard the sound stage collapse. The thing of it is, the way I did this she had no idea until the sound changed. And when she heard it was not at the end when the last one was removed but at the beginning when only ONE on ONE SIDE was removed! 

Oh, just remembered! Should have thought of this sooner. This is a biggie! One of the biggest ever! 

This was back when I was listening to records and CD just about equally. Was just beginning to be enthralled with vinyl but still able to enjoy digital. One night after playing a record my wife says, "It's so quiet." I thought she meant the vinyl. It was very clean, zero groove noise. Typical audiophile way of thinking. 

She says, "No, not that. They're all quiet. Even the noisy ones." 

This really got me curious and so I kept asking questions. Eventually we got to what she was trying to say: the "noise" in digital is woven inextricably into the music. The whole thing is noise. With records there can be the occasional noise of a tick or pop or whatever, but all the rest is music. With digital the whole damn thing is noise!   

One of the deeper insights in all of my experience, and it came from a non-audiophile listener. They are way better than we give them credit for. 

It’s the great conundrum and paradox of audiophilia: one needs to most critically listen to achieve a system that can be heard most sanguine and with aplomb.

Two other ways to achieve this: spousal commentary...won’t go into detail; all with one and possessing of of the bare minimum of sentiency understand this, and, careful application of the advice of others also so engaged with said pursuit...may go into detail later.