why do so many discussions turn contentious?


just venting....why do so many discussion posts need to turn  contenious and nasty?  do you guys find that constructive and/or enjoyable?  I have no clue who or how this forum is moderated, but I sure would love to see a stop to that...it makes me feel like this hobby is dominated by total jerks.

Can't we play nice, share OPINIONS and OBSERVATIONS, realizing that  they often are subjective and biased.  
"if you dont have anything nice to say, say nothing"?  If you wish to disagree, do it in a constructive and mature fashion, no need for "argument ad hominem"...

with all the chaff, one must waste so much time finding the wheat, figuratively speaking.  

I doubt my writing this will change anything, but, like most social media, people writing to others without facing them does not bring out the best, sadly......



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Pervasive anxiety, insecurity, feelings of dread, helplessness, anger, frustration--any of these conditions that a person is feeling routinely arouses impulsive, at times, self-destructive defenses. Many feeling hopeless withdraw from social interactions and self-medicate. Yet some can vent frustration, giving aggressive rise of intolerance and even devaluation of others. A safe place to do such is online.
Why do so many discussions turn out so contentious? For the same reason worthless sounding equipment get good reviews in magazines. Everyone wants their beliefs affirmed. IME there are several groups of listeners. The 2 primary groups are those looking for accuracy and those who want music to sound good. I'm an accuracy guy, I want to I hear the good the bad, and the ugly. Then there's what I call the Vandersteen listeners. To my ears Vandersteens dumb down the sound so that nothing really is annoying.  So if you want to enjoy the music without detail, Vandersteens get you there. Then there are folks who are hearing impaired. I know a guy with a serious high frequency impairment. He listens to an Asian girl band which makes most people's ears bleed. IMO, that's it, the if it's there I want to hear it, and if it sucks it sucks, then the my hearing is bad, but I want compensation types. The fact is that if you X, you like X, don't worry about other people!


 "A fool is someone who knows the price of everything and the value of nothing".


Oscar Wilde

In our culture, I think that civil discourse is becoming an historical artifact.
Much of this discourse thrives on the passive aggressive nature as well as anonymity. Social Media........Post things you would never say face to face.