How do you listen?

No layman has much of an idea of just how loudly musical performances are in a given acoustic space.  They almost always under or over estimate.

I was surprised when I took a sound level meter (there is an inexpensive one called SPL Meter available for iPhone from Apple that is actually pretty decent).

Especially with classical and other acoustic music, there is a large dynamic range and it is easy to mistake what the level is by ear alone.

I moved to an apartment; was worried about  lower volume listening and pleasantly surprised that I still enjoy the music. I hear more and do not suffer the need to tweak.  Higher volume excites the room requiring acoustic treatment et al.  Sure I miss bass impact sometimes but overall I’m happy. Unlikely that I will listen at higher volumes in future should I move to a house. 

There seems to be a consensus-75 to 80ish db.
That is exactly how I listen. Going to the symphony, I have never had the experience of feeling the sound was too loud. Unlike listening to my system.
Rock concerts are a different experience. Especially close to the PA.
Maybe that is similar to being close to my system speakers?

More or less I feel it depends on the way the album was cut and engineering...some sound louder than others. I always turn down the volume and then renew the sound...I never use headphones, I only used them back in the 60s n 70s when I lived at home...I believe they are the number cause of hearing damage.....so I don't  use them....everyone who has a earphone in your ear 18 hours a day or listen to music it loud on your headphones, you cant get your hearing back...oh you can get $8,000 ear phones....I have gone to plenty of concerts and sat up close and remember after the concert everyone was saying what ? Over and over...lol

Right now I am listening to jazz.. about 75db.

My symphony seats are 8th row center (on aisle on left). The crescendos are too loud. But when there is a soloist the violin sound hole or piano sounding board is pointed at me. This makes the solos amazing and perfectly blended with the orchestra. It also allows different instruments to be clearly discernible while allowing for complete integration when large parts of the orchestra play simultaneously. Also, my line os sight is above the stage so I can see the players.  So, very occasional over saturation these are the perfect seats in the house. 
The general rule is 7th row center, but over time I found these a tad too close in symphony hall I attend.