Of course paypal is terrific and an accepted industry standard. People do try to game it by for example claiming all sorts of nonsense, I know that, but I am only going by what others have said.
Complicated transaction, though, and of course it smells fishy. My preference - for want of a stronger word, maybe "rule"- is to always and only communicate with the buyer to whom you will ship it to. Or, seller, whatever side you are on.
This approach is also consistent with any ordinary rules of contract law.
Keep it simple. Hows that for some original advice.
