First listen to the video of the "seventh seal" film by Ingmar Bergman..i posted the adress few posts above...
This film which is one of the greatest work of art in cinema adress all your post interrogations.. i had and i have the same interrogations myself which are amongst the great interogations of mankind interogations through time...
This idea of personal god so hilarious.
Second i will give to you my clue about that ...
Think about WHO we are..
We are at the same time an IMPERSONAL SPIRIT CONSCIOUSNESS deep in us, and at the surface a biased historical manifested EGO...
Now think about what is GOD... Do you think God is LESS than what we are...
Do you think he is an abstraction without personality of any sort...Or a Tyrannical EGO who do nothing while children are kiiled in suffering?
Mysteries are not rational or irrational, they are heart beating POTENTIAL revelation...listen to the "seven seals" ...This work of art is itself a revelation..
The 17 minutes video i posted above is a perfect resume of this film and you will pick the essential...
thanks sns for your interesting posts...
By the way i dont recognize myself with zealots of any kind, religious one or materialist one....