I was going down that road this past summer too Hilde. I decided to go the other direction and just get a beefy solid state that will push any speakers but I totally get the appeal with tubes, its just that I run into the same issues as you.
The Devores and Spatials definitely look appealing! I’m in love with these little Maggie LRS’s so I’d go for the Spatials personally.
You’re ear is improving though in that you are picking up on speed / shrillness. Its always good to hear as many other peoples setups as possible. A few peoples systems completely changed my outlook on what is possible.
I have heard a ton of systems but have spent very little to no time with high efficiency speakers.