You can just turn down the volume of the subs a bit on TV / movie nights... no need to rattle the dinnerware... and still get that bit of extra kick.
Most people turn their subs up too high so they can "hear" them, but the best sub tuning is "you don't even know it's there, until you turn it off."
Use restraint, and maybe a bit of psychology by not even pointing them out to your wife... discreet is good.