Does anybody pay a pro to dial their system in?

Even a modest set of headphones can sound really good. If you want your system to be better than your headphones, you'll have to buy some very expensive loudspeakers. Once you get sorted out, no headphone is going to match the loudspeaker sound you get but it might take some work and some bucks.

The Benchmark gear is VERY revealing, you will be able to hear all the good, and the bad. As for room size either a nearfield setup or a desktop setup will work fine, regardless. Example:

Russ69….I think my speakers aren’t the problem - from all accounts the Totem 1s are great speakers and bigger speakers just won’t cut it in this small room. To counter what you say about no headphone can match speakers - if my system came close to what I’m getting from these headphones I would be a very happy guy. A bigger room and bigger speakers would be great but I’m stuck with this small room (for now). 
i think the speaker vs headphones thing is more about different experiences. I could happily live with headphones but I want a different experience, just being able to chill in a comfy room as opposed to between a set of cans is what I’m looking for, but I don’t think spending more money is going to fix the problem.

Yes, calling in an expert (for measurements and prof. advice) is a very good idea. 

You might have dampened your room a little too much in combination with a listening chair/speaker positioning that enhances the bass too much and gives a muddy sound in the mids as result.

I too recommend you to start with a very near-field positioning to find out how you like that.  

Haven't had the Totem One's but have had the Totem Sky's and they're certainly not muddy. Wouldn't use the One's below 80Hz.

Of course your room can handle bigger speakers. You just need to control them.

you have very nice components. Perfect for a small room. I have similar room size and a much cheaper system and I have two comments

yes, some recordings will sound like crap on a good system. What sounded enjoyable until now, can now sound chaos. I just sold 20 or so albums because they didn't cut it.

what does sound good, should sound incredible with the Totems. They are very musical, good highs and mids. Vocals should fill the room like the sweetest sound. Pull the speakers away from each wall as far as you can, until you may be 5-6 feet away from them, which could be just right. I have slight toe-in, crossing behind my ears.