A system CANNOT be too holographic...
Holograhy does not means artificial and unnatural audio trick AT ALL...
It is an acoustic concept related to the way the acoustic recording trade-off album is well or not so well translated in the acoustic room of the listener ( a dedicated room or a living room)...
You confused and conflated two completely different things here : the live listening of a spectator in some specific location In the theater and the location of the recording microphones trade-off...
We want what is possible and real: the specific recording choices to be perceived through our speakers/ room relation..
You want something which is impossible: the recreation of a specific listener impression in a concert...
There is no relation between a listener location in the music Hall and the recording microphones CHOICES by the engineer..
When we listen a GOOD recording the soundfield impression must be on par with the best listener possible location but cannot be the same by acoustic definition... ( For example one mic recording technique with "Sound Liaison" company albums is so good that it recreate well a very good listener location in a real event)
In most live event the soundfield will be less good than on a very good recordings...
The only advantage of a live event most of the times is not the ACOUSTIC conditions, but the artist magical real presence...
@aniwolfe
I agree with your friend. A soundstage that is too holographic is not natural. Music emanating from a live soundstage is never too deep or wide.