Dynaudio Contour 60 too much for 14x13x11 room?

I have a few Dynaudio systems in different sized rooms and your liberal use of the dial may be perfectly normal. The Contour 60 is marginally more sensitive then the 20, but since you are using subs that advantage is largely negated, and you’d likely be on a similar spot on the dial. The 585 should be plenty of power in that room. One thing I would check though is your source output voltage. The normal voltage output should be around 2 volts and if your source is putting out less, it will have a direct relationship on how much dial you need for a given volume. Some digital components have an adjustable output, if you are using CD or vinyl you may have to check the output specs of your player.

You're not dumb, at least not in this regard as speaker room interactions are quite common and placement can make massive differences in sound.

Well live and learn.  I’ve been at this almost 60 years and still learning.