About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Hi everyone,

As Jeff (Jdodmead) has guessed this has been a very busy week and as the month progresses will only get busier. My sister flew in last Saturday and we stayed up late (for me) every night listening to music and having guests over until she left. She enjoyed herself so much she is planning another visit and will be bringing her husband along as well. I had another uneventful chemo round on Tuesday and saw my sis off late Wednesday afternoon. In case you haven't guessed, uneventful is a good thing.

A construction crew arrived here on Wednesday to replace the facia and some soffit material before the roofers come in. I made the mistake of prepping our garage doors for painting when the crew offered to paint them at the same time as they paint the repair work they are doing. While I feel pretty darn good I'm really not in any shape to be doing scraping and sanding. And, to think last summer I was helping a friend build a spec home! I'm very tired and somewhat wounded but I'll be okay. I've learned my lesson though. I've just got to save whatever energy I have for fun. To Hell with work!

If anyone remembers the tale about Steve (Vetterone) loaning me his Supratek and it not working right and then he bought another just to find out it wasn't working right then here's the rest of the story. Both units work fine now and I bought the older, remote control one. A local friend dropped by for a listen and visit and decided right there to buy the second one and have me build a system around it. Problem is, he wanted me to choose the other components for him on a very strict budget. I honestly don't know if I've done the right thing but at his urging I've ordered one of the BIX turntables and a pair of ASL Wave 20's. This will be cabled with Paul Speltz anti-cables too, including his new interconnects. I haven't yet decided on what speakers to buy. If you have any recommendations for used (or new) exceptionally good monitors in the $600 range please let me know. I'm thinking if I can find them in this price range, Harbeth, Revolver, Coincident, Triagle or Omega.

I'll be selling my cartridge (yes, I love it) to my friend after talking with Mehran. It's a long story, but again Mehran is being very good to me and this is an opportunity I shouldn't pass up. Besides, my friend is getting a cartridge that he wouldn't be able to afford otherwise.

I had posted a thread about some recommendations on what to do while Barb and I are in Portland, Oregon next week. We'll be staying downtown and concentrating on having fun there. We have received some good advice and will be meeting at least one other Audiogon face while there. Viridian (Marty) is putting together a some options for live jazz and great food for us based on the latest information. I'm pretty sure we'll be downing a few drinks together with him.

Right after our return from Portland Paul Frumkin will be coming for five days and then Steve and I will be heading out to Albert's place. In between all of this activity I'll be assembling the BIX, making some DIY room treatments, babysitting the roofers and gutter crew as well as a number of other things that have been left undone due to being out of my game for so long. I'm sure glad that my daughter Amanda is so good about mowing our grass and taking care of other chores for us. She's a good kid that's stepped up to the plate to help her mom and dad out.

I love this thread and hope you guys continue to post. While I celebrate my good fortune with this respite from being so sick, I know whenever those nasty symptoms come back it's going to be tough. It would be very easy right now to lie to myself that I'm getting well. But, I really see no purpose in concentrating on bad things that aren't happening. I'll just have to deal with things as they come along.

Best to all!

Patrick

Hi Pat, it's great to hear about the fun and no less of anything that ain't. I love this thread, thanks to all for keeping it up. For small monitors, I liked the Triangle Titus Es a lot when I heard it recently. In a higher price range, I owned a pair of Aurum Cantus Leisure 2 SE's for about a month and just hated to see them go. The buyer loves them enough to have become an audio buddy. All the very best, Toby

Pat. You continue to be a source of admiration for all of us. With all that you have been through, the courage you how, the way you have always tempered hope with reality of the situation, you undying love of music as a healing medium, and your openness to all of us.

I had a stepfather who was sick with cancer for a loong time, and he never accepted his illness, his situation or his ultimate fate. Of course that was his prerogative. Still, it was sad to see him deny his situation, deny the pain, deny the pain meds, deny the hands that were lent to him for support.

None of us know how/when we will depart this phase of existance, but we should all strive to achieve equanimity, joy, and inner pease each day as if it were our last. In your case, there is reason to believe the plan will not go as you may have originally thought - but apparently you'll be dammed if you'll allow any 'change in plan' to interfere with the mission of getting every little last bit of joy and happiness out of the limited days we all have.

In a way, you have reminded me that all paths lead to nowhere, that it is the journey that matters!

"all paths lead to nowhere, that it is the journey that matters!"
Well said Artg. It's just so sad that it takes so long for some of us to realize this.

Sometimes I'm struck mightily by the insights offered by you guys. When Artg wrote about his step father I realized that this experience is one he will carry around for a lifetime. Believing as I do that not much of what happens to us is by accident, maybe this thread is a way for all of us to work through such issues for our own benefit. This repreive I'm enjoying is not without its challenges. Yeah, I'm enjoying it a lot. No doubt, it's better to be feeling well than staying on a steadily declining path toward death. The light at the end of the tunnel. Five weeks ago I could see it very clearly and only needed to maintain my emotional strength to meet up and be engulfed by it. Right now, I don't even see that light. I know though that whenever this chemical coctail that is working for me stops doing its thing I will be faced with that light and it will be much closer than I will be prepared for. I know it'g going to be tough to handle, at least for a short while.
As much as I'd like to just get lost in feeling good and ignore the inevitable I can't allow myself to forget. That would make the shock of returning symptoms too hard to handle well. All of this stuff we write about here is simply an excercise in getting to know ourselves better. I don't have time to fart around and screw up with it either or I could easily be like Artg's step dad. For about the zillionth time I repeat, I ain't courageous nor brave. I'm prgamatic. Most of you would be too. Either enjoy today or waste it. Either control the impact on your emotions or be controlled by them. I just can't do it any other way. If you want to see me at a weak moment it will be when the Taxol stops helping. I'll need you guys then more than you realize. It is comforting to know that you all will be there with me, helping to prop up my spine in a moment of weakness. I'll be okay then too, but it will be so much easier because of you. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your continiued support. I am a very lucky guy.