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About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Many of us have come to know Patrick Malone (Lugnut) as a friendly, helpful, knowledgeable and kind individual. He is a frequent and enthusiastic contributor to our analog discussion forum. He has initiated only 17 threads, but responded to 559 threads. I would guess that many, if not most, of us can recall a time when Pat replied with helpful advice to a question we posted or helped us track down a rare recording. I have come to love Pat as a friend, and to respect him as a man, and I suspect many of you share those feelings.

Today I write to share difficult news with you. Pat has been diagnosed with an aggressive stomach cancer. It has yet to be determined whether surgery will even be worth it. If surgery is performed, most or all of the stomach will be removed, and Pat would face a difficult and long post-op period in the hospital. The medical course is still uncertain, but will be determined soon. Whatever is decided, it will not be easy or pleasant.

Something may be planned in the future to assist the family. For now, Pat could use some of the friendship he so often and willingly showed us. You can email Pat at: lugnut50@msn.com. You can also mail cards, letters ... or whatever. You may email me for Pat's mailing address. My email is: pfrumkin1@comcast.net.

I hope to spend a few days with Pat in Idaho or Nebraska (from which he hails) soon. Between this news, my legal work, getting ready for family arriving for the holidays, Audio Intelligent, and trying to make plans to visit Pat, my head is spinning. If you email me and I don't respond, please understand that I am not ignoring you, but rather simply do not have time to reply.

Pat may or may not have time to respond to posts here, to emails, or to cards mailed to him. But he has asked me to convey to each and every one of you that he has cherished your friendship, your comradery, and sharing our common hobby on this great website.

As we prepare for our holiday season celebrations, and look forward to -- as we should -- enjoying this time of year, I ask that you keep Pat and his family in mind ... and softly offer up, in quiet moments in the still of night and early morning, prayers for Pat and his family. God bless.

Warmest regards to all,
Paul Frumkin
paul_frumkin
artg
362 posts
 
Pat. You continue to be a source of admiration for all of us. With all that you have been through, the courage you how, the way you have always tempered hope with reality of the situation, you undying love of music as a healing medium, and your openness to all of us.

I had a stepfather who was sick with cancer for a loong time, and he never accepted his illness, his situation or his ultimate fate. Of course that was his prerogative. Still, it was sad to see him deny his situation, deny the pain, deny the pain meds, deny the hands that were lent to him for support.

None of us know how/when we will depart this phase of existance, but we should all strive to achieve equanimity, joy, and inner pease each day as if it were our last. In your case, there is reason to believe the plan will not go as you may have originally thought - but apparently you'll be dammed if you'll allow any 'change in plan' to interfere with the mission of getting every little last bit of joy and happiness out of the limited days we all have.

In a way, you have reminded me that all paths lead to nowhere, that it is the journey that matters!
jdodmead
257 posts
 
"all paths lead to nowhere, that it is the journey that matters!"
Well said Artg. It's just so sad that it takes so long for some of us to realize this.
lugnut
1,190 posts
 
Sometimes I'm struck mightily by the insights offered by you guys. When Artg wrote about his step father I realized that this experience is one he will carry around for a lifetime. Believing as I do that not much of what happens to us is by accident, maybe this thread is a way for all of us to work through such issues for our own benefit. This repreive I'm enjoying is not without its challenges. Yeah, I'm enjoying it a lot. No doubt, it's better to be feeling well than staying on a steadily declining path toward death. The light at the end of the tunnel. Five weeks ago I could see it very clearly and only needed to maintain my emotional strength to meet up and be engulfed by it. Right now, I don't even see that light. I know though that whenever this chemical coctail that is working for me stops doing its thing I will be faced with that light and it will be much closer than I will be prepared for. I know it'g going to be tough to handle, at least for a short while.
As much as I'd like to just get lost in feeling good and ignore the inevitable I can't allow myself to forget. That would make the shock of returning symptoms too hard to handle well. All of this stuff we write about here is simply an excercise in getting to know ourselves better. I don't have time to fart around and screw up with it either or I could easily be like Artg's step dad. For about the zillionth time I repeat, I ain't courageous nor brave. I'm prgamatic. Most of you would be too. Either enjoy today or waste it. Either control the impact on your emotions or be controlled by them. I just can't do it any other way. If you want to see me at a weak moment it will be when the Taxol stops helping. I'll need you guys then more than you realize. It is comforting to know that you all will be there with me, helping to prop up my spine in a moment of weakness. I'll be okay then too, but it will be so much easier because of you. I thank you all from the bottom of my heart for your continiued support. I am a very lucky guy.
nrchy's avatar
nrchy
2,124 posts
 
Pat, when I read you last post it made me sorry that I am so far away (miles wise) from you. I wish there was something I could do to help as much as you have helped many of us through your posts. We all need eachother in this moment we call life. Heros are made by opportunities, not strong backbones. Your trials have revealed your character to the rest of us! It's easy to be thankful and appreciative when there are no problems, and most of the things the rest of us consider problems are really inconveniences. I assume the praise you recieve is a little embarrassing, but when a person brags about how well they would do under a given circumstance, their foolishness is made obvious by the exampe of those who do bear up well under difficult circumstances, as you are doing.

Thank you for being so transparent, you remain in my prayers.
lugnut
1,190 posts
 
Nate,

Thanks for understanding. Yeah, I'm a little embarrassed by the praise offered up about bravery. I'd like to think I'd be brave under certain circumstances like saving someone from a fire or drowning (an experience I've had) or from suicide. One never knows how you would react until faced with such events. I do accept your compliment about being transparent in this thread though. Most of the time it requires very little effort since this is the way I am most of the time. There have been things I've written about that took a lot of effort to share with this group. Maybe it's because I fear that some criticism might spring forth as a result. Maybe it's because I make myself feel vulnerable in doing so. I dunno. It doesn't matter. I'm obligated to be totally honest here or else this thread will cease to serve the purpose I think it contains within the talk about me and audio. At the end of the day Lugnut doesn't matter nor does anyones stereo. It's about a greater insight into how we conduct our lives during such a period IF you are lucky enough to have advance notice like I've enjoyed. There are numerous stories in the Bible about wealthy individuals that were faced with the contrast between life being defined by ones possessions and the possessions that really mattered. My "stuff" really has very little meaning even though I can and do enjoy it. What I treasure beyond all material things is the relationships that are a measure of who I am. Stuff is a measure of what I was. This thread and the friends I've gained through it are a gift more valuable than anything I've received in my lifetime. If by being transparent I can help anyone reading this then I've been worthy of the friendships I've gained.
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