About Lugnut -- Patrick Malone

Smokester,

Very good question. I have a list of near range needs I know she'll have but for the most part I can't imagine this group being able to help. If the roles were reversed I could (and would) request my friends come over occasionally to cook and clean so that I could tend to my wife. In this case she doesn't have the depth of good friends to call on like I do. Besides, she probably wouldn't ask. It's just not her. I'm planning to contact her family and request that they come in shifts to lighten her load. None of them live close but they can do this without any hardship being placed upon them. I'm pretty sure they will rise to the occassion. My sister will probably come but I can't expect that of her. Her husband's company is closing the location where he works on Jan. 1.

For this group I ask you to send her a card individually after I'm gone. I'd hope that you would stand by her if she needed advice about a system problem or the like. She's very good at operation of things but doesn't have a clue otherwise. She could keep these cards and refer to them when she needs the help. Something as simple as packing the turntable in the original boxes is a perfect example should she decide to move. The fact the system has Aktiv crossovers within the power amps is another example if she needed to hook things back up after painting the room. Small things, but overwhelming to her I'm sure.

I don't expect anyone to do this but if you do, please be committed to following through. I know she would be quite sensitive if a year or two down the road it was inconvenient. (Now I feel like I'm a jerk for saying this-you guys are so great) I've had a couple of incidents this year where I was truly counting on some help that was repeatedly and freely offered only to be left high and dry. I'd just like to save her any such emotional turmoil.

I'd be lost running this place if she were gone. Man, in this case I'd be quite happy to find out that I wasn't needed. Can you drop by and sharpen my lawnmower blade a couple times per year and change the oil? LOL. The address is in this thread but feel free to drop me an email and I'll forward it to you. Thanks for asking and if I think of something else I'll post it.

Steve, thanks for your thoughts. I have so many grown men tell me they love me! I know it's true. A great gift that costs nothing to give. My greetings to Joe. If he's an audiophile maybe we'll meet up soon and listen to real music. I expect that to be the case.

Newmanoc, I'm sure I'll share the details. For now, with the help of oxycontin, I don't have any real pain except for the really short, mysterious ones. I have a lot of discomfort that's nagging me almost constantly. I can handle this just fine but I realize I clinch my jaws a lot. It kind of pisses me off more than anything else.

Hey, as far as favors....you guys can stop by anytime and flip these darn records for me so I can just plant my lazy butt in the sweet spot. Har har.

Pat.
Pleae check your email for an offer I have made to you

Barb,

I know you have been the strength behind Pat's grace, and I know how you have grown from your role. I say I know, when of course I have no real experience other than watching my wife live for eight years through many nights where she and I wondered if this was it. I generally ended up in the emergency room, but more often lately, we simply ride it out.

The point is my wife has grown into the most incredible person I know. She continues to share her fears and sadness, but way above that she continues to laugh. Countless times over the years we had two options, one was to laugh and accept the futility of the situation, the other choice was to cry and fall into an abyss of darkness. far too often I hear people say how amazing she is. (of course I am jealous of the attention and wonder why they don't see me, I'm kidding, she deserves all the accolades as do you)

My wife, as with you have kept seeing the good in the day. I know you have the tools to move forward, but I hope you will allow Pat's friends here at Audiogon be a part of that journey. I think the people you and Pat have met through this thread are something much deeper than simply audio geeks. The two of you have reached out with your love, and our souls have recognized this love. Please allow us to continue share and grow with you.

Oh yea, your still here aren't you Pat? Damn! I thought a little opening of my heart could lead to some flirting and...

Sorry I forgot you were still...

But one last thought, for those of us who would like to share our thoughts and love with Barb, I wonder if you would be comfortable posting your address, or is it best to keep that off line?

I love you two, your amazing!!!

JD

Thanks Albert for your post above, you showed me a different side of you.

Pat you have been teaching me (all of us, no doubt) about life in an unprecedented way, without prompting, just by being Patrick aka Lugnut.

Just by being Patrick aka Lugnut (:)) I know you'll always be there for everyone...

My words are poor and I feel much too incapable to do something worthwhile and say something worthwhile... you noticed: my mind immediately jumped to an "exchange" and Pat, you don't belong to the "you give s/thing you take s/thing" world. You are in the "give s/thing" world.

If /when I manage to fully understand your legacy, I for one will have gained some of your strength & courage -- and by remembering these lessons, I will be capable in turn of passing some of this legacy to others who depend on me (I have two small children).

It is now 11:30 am, half-way around the world, and I am at my office trying to picture Barb and Pat.

I am thinking that there will be moments when either Josephine (our daughter) or Christian (our son) will come to me with their "problems" and I will be able to say, "...cheer up and let me tell you what two good friends from across the Atlantic have to say about this...".

That's fortunate indeed and I can count myself among the lucky ones.

Pls do excuse this public display of emotion -- I guess the "stiff upper lip" is somewhat failing me and words are still inadequate.

Pat,

I wonder if there is a charitable group or organization you would want those of us that choose to remember you could donate to. If you don't believe in that sort of thing and you wanted to have us send money directly to Barb I don't think anyone would find it objectionable. Your words have taken on a life independent of your own. I will print this thread when it's done and use it as a source of comfort and inspiration to the unfortunate ones that may undertake the journey you've travelled so gracefully in the future.