whats the best styus cleaner gel

There is a much less expensive alternative that I've found works very well: Museum Gel. You can buy a fairly good sized jar for about $10.

in use the brush after each side and the gel after each listening session.

can't comment on any other but I'm guessing they are pretty much the same so go for the cheapest.

I have heard of some who use Magic Eraser, they take the gel out and use that. another suggestion i've swiped from another poster is below. the guy who i stole this from is adamant about stylus hygeine.

Go buy a mouse pad with the sorbathane-like wrist protection pad.
Open the plastic covering over the pad and remove the inner "jelly"
Cut into squares and keep the hard backing on the bottom attached...twice the size of sugar cubes seems good.
Lower stylus on wait thirty seconds and viola all dirt gone.
There is no residue as it doesn't cling to the stylus.
When it gets dirty go rinse in distilled water and clean with dry cloth without removing fibres...such as a microfibre clothe.
Keep in sealed container or in Gladwarp to avoid drying out.
It lasts for ever........give the other pieces to friends
My friends and I have been using for years with no ill effects
Microscopy reveals no residue or sound degradation
Crazy, cheap...but true.

Zerodust. I love it. Don't overclean it, though! The "goo" deposits are localized. Keep dipping the stylus into a "fresh" spot. You'll get long life that way. You - and your stylus.

Keep smilin' and keep playin' vinyl.

These things look to me like the same thing used to make sticky mousetraps.

I switched from Exteme Phono to Magic Eraser over a year ago. Much better and $2 supply will last many many years. Search the archives and try it...Cheers,
Spencer