Here's an update. I bumped into Michael fremer. he suggested adding some Bluetac or Moretite to the headshell, effectively increasin the mass of the tonearm and changing the compliance. unfortunately this didn't change anything.
another suggestion was to take the TT off the rack and put it right on the floor, to see if there was some rack related issues. No dice.
Another friend, Wes Bender, has a VERY high end system (Hanson's, Redpoint TT, etc.) said he sees the pumping also, but figures it's just part of the medium and so ignores it. I'm afraid he's right and that some kind of subsonic filter would be the only real solution.
So, live with it or build a filter. Lets see what the New Year brings. There may be a project in my future.
Bob