Dear Curio: When we heard/hear live music normally the sound does not comes relaxed and laid back ( of course that depends at what distance we are hearing. ). If we hear a Steninway playing at normal levels at three meters we can't find out a relaxed and laid back performance, almost the same with any other music instruments including human voice.
The microphones in a recording normally are nearest to the " stage " that when we attend to hear live music so what we ( in a good recording that's not manipulated one. ) have to hear at our home audio system should be in this regard something near of what we hear in a live event and not that kind of relaxed and laidback performance. All the live music has a natural agresiveness that almost all audiophiles does not likes in their audio systems, why is this?, I can't understand.
Of course that if the recording was manipulated to performs relaxed then you will hear in this way.
A 12" tonearm has some advantages and some disadvantages but IMHO I think this subject could be not the main subject of what you are hearing with the Reed but more the relationship between your Benz Micro cartridge and the tonearm build materials that " resonate " with that tone balance ( yes, a 12" tonearm design resonate different form a 9" even with the same tonearm build materials but through my experiences not in so dramatic way. ) that IMHO does not reproduce the recording information in more " natural " way.
If the Graham or the Triplanar or the own 9.5" Reed or any other tonearm gives you a more true and real performance then maybe this is the road to take.
The other alternative is to find out a cartridge that could do the " trick " with that Reed tonearm.
Regards and enjoy the music,
Raul.
Ps.: Of course that I'm assuming that VTA/SRA/Azymuth/VTF cartridge set up parameters are just on target.