DTM: Crazy? Yes...just not for having a dirty stylus :-)
I still use the good old Discwasher stylus brush and fluid, but am not really sure if this is even made any more.
Anyhoo: I am a little skeptical about DD's theorizing that vertical deflection force applied during cleaning can't exceed the recommended max VTF without risking catastrophic results. The VTF will only deflect the cantilever to a midway position vertically, but the cartridge suspension is by design necessity capable of sustaining a deflection larger than that without damage. Depending on the type of cantilever material used, the compliance of the suspension, and the configuration of the cart's underbody, deflecting the cantilever as far as it can physically go may result in a bent cantilever, a snapped cantilever, a detached cantilever, or often no problems at all. Personally, with most carts I would be surprised if light extra pressure applied into a soft gel bed would result in any damage of this sort. My suspicions run more toward what DD experienced in terms of gel adherence, or possibly undetected detachment of the diamond tip. Clues might be revealed if Scott tells us what model cart is involved.