Is this rude?

Try this,lay all your cards on the table and in the end retail joint "may" cut a deal that's a tempting 1/2 step towards you.If they do quote a discount to rescue the sale,you can weight the better route ,keeping in mind all the pitfalls of doing business via mail. Shipping damage, shady sellers,miscommunication,misrepresented or abused items. Add up all the charges ,pay-pal,shipping,handling ect.
I have done it both ways and much prefer to see, touch and hear my potential new gear.Imagine the anxiety during the period of time between transaction to confirmation. You will experience if you go mailorder. Along with the extra uncertainy if deal goes south. Rude or not is beside the point really that's your call and cross to bear in the end.
Just think it through carefully because as the purchase price goes higher so does your personal investment,which is not all money but time as well.Time is most valuable.
Personally I enjoy the shopping ,looking,hearing the sales-persons input,and knowing I have the power to say lets do this deal and seeing the process of said sale go down.It's like a dance,a sales "Tango" if you will and can be much more fulfilling then the:is it going to get here in one piece,is it like they said,is it a cinderblock in a box?

It seems like people are more wary than I thought about buying off audiogon. I've had my problems with eBay, but I thought Audiogon was generally a different story. Was I wrong?

Omains, your original question was very well addressed above. Per your last question, my experience with buying through Audiogon is quite good. Bear in mind that buying direct is increasingly difficult as the components increase in complexity and size, regardless of the quality of those who are selling the components. Speakers are difficult to unpack, hook up, sell, pack and ship. Lot's can happen with each step and not all of it is good. There is value to simply using a local dealer and it is worth some extra money -- how much depends on you and your needs and wants. When I lived in Boston, my dealer delivered the speakers and set them up in my home. That avoids any finger pointing about damage that might have occurred en route. My current speakers were purchased directly and the uncrating and setup was a pain in the rear end -- but I couldn't get those speakers locally. So, don't worry too much about Audiogon (with all the caveats about checking selling history, insurance, etc that have been in many threads). Do consider the convenience of a local dealer as being worth something -- especially if something goes wrong.

I'd give some sort of compensation to the dealer (a 6 pack of good beer or something like that) for allowing me to demo speakers I know I won't be buying from them. That way, everybody wins.

No, it is not rude.

GO for it!

High End audio dealers love showing off thier gear!!!!
Here is what you should do.

Get ahold of a car that just SCREAMS "IM FILTHY RICH"
Come haul'in ass into thier parking lot, slam the e-brake and spin the wheel, make sure when you slide up to the front door that your car door can open into the front entrance of the store while your car blocks the entrance for anyone else.

This will make sure that you have thier attention and they are not being bothered by other consumers.

Next, use the most outrageous accent you can muster, barge in the place like you own it, demand thier attention, and be ultra-condensending. Wave all the cash you have and tell them it is the tip of the iceberg and a personal gift for whichever salesperson sets you up with a nice system.

Make sure you bring a nine pound lap dog and have it piss on thier carpets as you flamboyantly tromp through and be sure to tip thier speakers and check out the undersides and set them back down slightly off of where the dealer had them set up.

Demand a glass of wine, and be sure not to let them get a word in edgewise.

Make them spend the next 4 hours setting up all the different gear and occassionally say things like "I like these, i might buy 4 sets, lets hear another piece of gear"

After exhausing 6 hours of thier time, get all fidgity, then tell them thier product line is pure crap, and that you have no time to waste on such low people as themselves, and leave

When you pull out, make sure you burn the wheels real good and kick up all kinds of little rocks and stuff and chip up thier front windows, and shoot a bunch of debris into thier store.

THen maybe they will know how a 21 yr old with 2k in his pocket feels when he just walked in to buy a pair of speakers.

Actually yeah, it is rude. Almost as rude as some dealers can be to younger patrons.

(the good dealers definatly outnumber the crappy ones, but it only takes 1 or 2 to really spoil somone on buying from dealers)